Hey there, writers, and welcome to another beautiful Sunday with wewriwa! I want to continue this week's snippet where I left off the last time - Artie's relaxing at the Town Square in Southampton, when a woman and her dog show up at the fountain. First, doggy gets a lift on top of the brim to quench his thirst, then walks over to inspect Artie...
On top of the brim, the dog edged his way towards Artie.
The woman smiled and lengthened the leash,
“Ah, he likes you."
He sniffed around the edges, then shook, and thick drops of water landed on Artie's bare arm; water and dog drool.
His face spasmed in disgust,
“Well, what’s not to like…”
The woman laughed a hoarse laugh that quickly grew into a dry rale cough. The dog's ebony eyes were glued to his as he sat down in front of him.
Artie reluctantly moved his hand to pet the dog’s head.
A coat of firm bristles met his palm.
Artie reluctantly moved his hand to pet the dog’s head.
A coat of firm bristles met his palm.
Nicely observed! Why do dog owners assume that "liking" is to be unreservedly reciprocated?
ReplyDeleteThat one made me laugh. :) Well, I guess in this particular case, "liking" is a matter of context and interpretation. :)
DeleteThe woman sounds seriously ill and the dog her world. Artie is a good sport to cooperate.
ReplyDeleteThank you, that's exactly what I wanted to convey with this snippet! :)
Delete"His face spasmed in disgust" Great turn of phrase and Artie obviously isn't a dog person. LOL The woman was not practising good dog owner etiquette either though. Interesting excerpt.
ReplyDeleteI can tell you now - you being the dog expert: it's a French Bulldog! I thought about the breed quite a bit....Thank you for stopping by! Glad the internet troubles are no more. :)
DeleteAh; that explains the drool. LOL French bulldogs are incredibly adorable, nonetheless. I too am glad to have the internet issue resolved. Thanks.
DeleteVery glad you approve my choice. I have to admit though, that I don't really know a French Bulldog in "person" :))
DeleteHa! I loved Botanist's comment!
ReplyDeleteYour description is good Dana. Water and drool, a coat of firm bristles. Playing to the readers' senses. Good job!!
One thing-- "hoarsely" --drop the "-ly" :-)
Ahhh thanks, yap that sounds right!! I'm always glad to be told when I'm "improvising" on grammar. :D
DeleteOhh dear, yeah, Artie's trying to be a nice guy even though he clearly doesn't like at least this dog. "bristles" makes me think the dog's fur feels coarse and rough, not pleasant; I think that fits with what you're trying to convey so great word choice there. Poor Artie, I feel for him!
ReplyDeleteAhh thanks, Marcia. Glad you like the choice of words. I did move some stuff around while editing. I think of Artie as a nice guy in disguise. :)
DeleteGreat detail!
ReplyDeleteThans Steven! :)
DeleteHmmm, seems ominous. I hope Artie won't regret being so polite! Excellent excerpt!
ReplyDeleteThank you Veronica!
DeleteI'm a dog lover, but I can do without the drool. Great snippet, Dana!
ReplyDeleteHey, thanks Jess..Yes, I think I like them better minus the drool as well :)
DeleteI don't like the drool either even though I do like dogs. Nice.
ReplyDeleteThank you Elaine!
DeleteGreat descriptions-- dog drool and all!
ReplyDeleteHey, thanks Karen, I can see there's a cute little dog with you on the picture. :)
DeleteI'm getting that prickly skin sense that something is about to happen...great 8.
ReplyDeleteI like dogs, but not drool. That poor woman sounds quite ill.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's because i know a little on what's to come in the story, but the significance of this moment seems to be apparent even to those who just get to read the snippet.
ReplyDelete