Hey there, Warriors, I'm glad you could make it!! This week, I'll continue with Anoethau right where we left off the last time. Artie is in hiding on board a transatlantic freighter. He tries to stay under the radar, but is soon discovered by the ship's cook Francis. Francis offers him work in the kitchen as payment for the passage...
Pedro gave him a gentle pat on the shoulder. When the laughter died down, they both picked up peeling carrots, and potatoes after that. The kitchen soon fell silent except for Francis’ occasional whistles and the sound of water boiling vigorously inside pots.
When Artie went outside the galley, the sky had put on a darkening coat. He leaned against the railing and looked at the sea. It was calm and even but for the icy wind nipping at his ears. The ship had long departed New York Harbor, and he regretted not having seen it take off. His last chance to say good bye; he had missed it.
There's definite emotion here, some subtle & some easily spotted right there on the surface. I hardly know anything about Artie but I feel bad for him! Wonder what's coming next.
ReplyDeleteThank you Marcia :)
DeleteNice details, especially in the second paragraph. "The sky put on a darkening coat"...I like it!
ReplyDeleteSteven, thank you so much. Glad you like it. :)
DeleteLovely description here.
ReplyDeleteThanks Elaine. :)
DeleteWill be interesting to see what happens next and I definitely felt the emotion over leaving New York. Excellent excerpt!
ReplyDeleteWow, thanks, I'm glad! :)
DeleteOh for those uncluttered days when you could get caught stowing away and be offered a job without a mountain of paperwork :)
ReplyDeleteVery poignant ending to this snippet.
Even though I don't really know these times without massive paperwork, I still miss them. That's a little odd, isn't it? Thank you for your comment. :)
DeleteI like how you extended the newly developed silence in the kitchen, to outside at the railing.
ReplyDeleteAnd the emotions of having left NY and not saying goodbye... Palpable. :-)
Nice snippet! :-)
Love the "darkening coat" line! You have conveyed Artie's feelings so well. Interesting story! :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm going to echo everyone else who loved the sky's darkening coat. That was brilliant. Good use of the sensual in this. The dimming light, the icy wind, the sounds of the kitchen. Very good.
ReplyDelete