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6/09/2012

Six-Sentence-Sunday 6/10


http://sixsunday.com/



I love this time of week! Hello my fellow Sixers. Today I want to share an excerpt from a short-short story called Mr. Peker Rue's Soul Shake. 

 

These are the first 6 lines. I uploaded the whole story on Scribd, it's only 3 pages, so come take a look ==> here, if you're interested. 

 

Enjoy, and, as always: I am very appreciative of all kinds of feedback, but I only take pleasure in a good and constructive bashing. ;)




"We'll see the results in a minute, Mr. Peker Rue. Don't be 
worried, I'm sure it's nothing to be concerned about." 
The doctor ripped the sensor off the elderly man's arm.
"Your word in God's ear," Fred mumbled, as he sat up straight from the gurney. He was disappointed to find out, that the proximity to the hospital wasn't enough to scare the horrible pain in his chest away. It was still palpable between his front ribs.

4 comments:

  1. Love his response to the doctor's words.

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  2. Great interaction! I really like your last line, it provides the perfect amount of humor to lighten up the otherwise tense scene. Good job!

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  3. Nice six, Dana :-) "...the proximity to the hospital wasn't enough to scare the horrible pain in his chest away." That line...human nature captured perfectly! :-)

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  4. A very belated Thank you to all of you for stopping by, commenting and liking. There will be more writing action next Sunday, I promise! :)

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