Good Sunday to all of you, it's SI-SE-SU time!
Today, I 'd like to run these freshly written six sentences from my fantasy story by you - it's a WIP.
This is Chapter 14 and a test of endurance for Kaley, the certified Guardian Apprentice and her friends, passing through a region of the Veil, dark, outlandish and home to many a legend. :)
I'm especially interested in your opinions and suggestions on the last sentence.
I'm not happy with it - somehow it feels like a bulky cheeseburger with too many layers. :)