Do you remember your late teen years? I do, at least I think I remember something. Being 15, attending parties of people I hardly knew, nervously taking my first zip of some unmentionable drink, usually served in a plastic cup and handed over by a person who was much too drunk to create a sensible mix of Rum and Coke. Oooh yes, these were the times, my friends! Listening to loud and oftentimes grungy music, feeling lightheaded, throwing up in the woods and all that good stuff. In one word growing up in the 90s. The best thing about adolescence was to be full of hopes and dreams about what life would be. And anything was possible, right? Life was a mystery, out there to be discovered!
As the years roll by and my perception of the world slowly but undeniably starts to decay along with every other part of my body, I painfully realize, these times are gone. Subjectively, time goes by much quicker now and in general, my days don't feel like an adventure playground anymore.
What most people do when they realize this is to drastically change their life situation. There are these men, who suddenly decide to drive a Porsche. There are those women, who decide to travel the world. In most cases, these changes are quick fixes for something, that can't be fixed by running away to random countries or driving a fast car.
The only way to outsmart time itself is either to discover the fountain of youth or getting used to change. As flexible as the human concept is, we still have some serious problems with changes, especially the ones we see taking place during our lifetime. Everything would be much easier if we could just accept certain things as they are: changing constantly.
I will never be 15 again. But on the other hand, I won't be 30 forever! So, maybe it's like that half full cup of Rum and Coke. We will never again be as young as we are today, so technically, every day, we are much younger than the next day to come. Isn't that something?
Singles OST, The Soundtrack to my Youth
It's not all bad, growing old. Which is a sentence one needs to remember and recite every day .. mostly because it's false, but makes us feel a little better.
ReplyDeleteat gesagt...
ReplyDeleteNicely written, Dani. I liked the way you brought it back to the rum and coke, infusing it into the old adage of half full/half empty :-) It is true,the things you have written. I am 51, and I feel these things to the nth degree. Life, in some ways, becomes more urgent as time begins to nip at our heels. But, in other ways, there is relief. Being young is hard...the things we just don't yet understand about living. Glimpses of wisdom are incredible, surreal, almost. I like to think that if I live to be an old person, there will be beauty with the pain--the beauty that wisdom imparts. :-) Nice post :-) !
You are absolutely right. There are some nice benefits in aging. Knowing oneself and understanding the world are priceless pros. I'd never want to give that up. And also, being young wasn't a happy mindset throughout. Constantly feeling insecure and obsessing about boys.. I'm glad this part is over. :) Strangely enough, if I think back now, all the experiences emerge to one big whitewashed nostalgic sentiment. It's not what I truly felt then, it's what my brain created afterwards as a memory. This is what really bothers me about aging. Not that I'm not young anymore. But that I'm not able to remember how it really was when it happened. There is a big separation between young and old brains :)
ReplyDeleteTeresa! I like your concept of "urgency", it sneaks in in exchange for light-heartedness at some point ...
In general,thank you so much for all your commenting support. I sometimes catch myself looking for your name in the comment section. I really appreciate your input on my scribblings! :)