Decomposing Buttocks Rant

The older I get the more I think of my body as a letdown. I'm astonished at what a rotting, quickly festering meat bag it is! The process of aging is like moving into a relatively new building, where, once you sit down to unpack the crates, cold gusts of wind blow through holes in the walls and start tearing them down. And while I tend to care less and less about such trivial things as appearance, it's still not a very good feeling to lose confidence in one's vitality with teeth, rotting; organs, asleep or failing and hair, falling out in some areas, springing like bamboo in others.

How could anyone say that the human body is a well-designed masterpiece? This thing?! Only if it had been done by a drunk four-year-old would I be mildly impressed. We're basically walking compost piles, and we have no control over which parts grow and which ones fall off; yes, it may be ecofriendly to be living in a world of compost, but it's not pretty. And it smells.

Just because our bodies work for a limited period of time doesn't mean that either they or the system that created them are flawless entities. By the way, bio-degradable is not the stamp I want to proudly wear on one of my flapping butt cheeks, I'd rather be totally non-degradable.
I don't care for half-life, I want doubling time!