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10/13/2012
Six Sentence Sunday: Hell-bent On Giving Up
Hey there lovely Sunday Sixers, here we are again! Whew, the weeks fly by quickly, and as I'm mentally preparing for Nanowrimo I feel like I have to do some preliminary work for my Sunday Six excerpts. So this week, it's another double-six snippet from The Days Adrift, part #10. Feel free to comment, critique and share your thoughts! :)
->This is what happened last week.
"Don't throw it all out," I say, a tad insulted, "we may still need some of those things." Like an excavator, Tams grabs the lot of empty bottles and all of our shoes - the good shoes.
A single sneaker falls off of her arms. "Stop it!" but she seems to be in some sort of frenzy. "We need shoes, you twerp."
She pauses and stares at me, that scary glare in her eyes, the one telling me that she's hell-bent on giving up.
"Guys!"
As she leans over the rail, I yank her arm from behind, hard. She stumbles, loses her balance and falls back with a thump.
"Guys!!!" Brita yells, her voice is cutting capers. She gestures dramatically. Tams lies on top of my legs, amidst scattered shoes and bottles. Brita's incessant screech has become a hoarsely squeal; it pierces right through my ears.
What in the world is she pointing at?
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You've created some great visuals in this snippet, and done a great job showing how the different characters are being effected by the situation. I'm very excited to learn what Brita sees, something tells me it's not going to be good.
ReplyDeleteThank you Jess. :)
DeleteHi Dana!!! been away for a week but I'm back.
ReplyDeleteYou're writing in this piece really details the crumbling psyche of each character without being blunt about it. it's subtle and wonderful. I love it!!!
I'm doing NaNoWriMo too and I'm terrified!!!! ugh.. lol. I'm glad you're doing it too.
Welcome back Mel! Glad you're doing NaNoWriMo with me, do you have any ideas, what you'll be writing about? To be honest, at this moment I don#t even know yet... And all this no editing stuff is so scary. :)
DeleteWow! YeppI agree with ML and Jess. Wonderful job, Dana! ANd WOOT! on the NaNoWriMo. Good for you. I'll be cheering you on and heckling you to keep going! I know you can do it. :-)
ReplyDeleteI'll send you an email soon to catch up on what's going on in life. :-) Hugs...
Yay and WOOT! Thank you for the support Teresa, I'm interested to find out what you have been up to! I hope everything is ok!! (God, this NaNoWriMo stuff scares me!!)
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