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Huzzah, and it's another round of Six Sentence Sunday marvellousness with you, me and everyone we know. Hah! I want to start right were we left off last week, with The Days Adrift, the infamous WIP that keeps me up late. You'll find the =>prologue and =>part one both here on my blog. Link-color questionable, that's why I need the flashy arrows...
Anyways, since I hold all of your comments and criticisms in such high regard, I really want to encourage you to always crit as you see fit. I can handle it, and it's the only chance for me to improve. If something sounds strange or plain wrong to you, please don't hold back, kay? :)
That's usually how I get to know people; I have yet to see Brita in such a moment. Tams, however, has - in that other guy's kitchen back when we were still on dry land. She told me that first,
it started out harmless with Brita, talking to the older one with her fawn eyes, constantly nodding her little head, so sweet, so fragile.
Then, out of nowhere, she lunged at him in a ferocious blur, and struck. She went directly for his head. Tams says that if it hadn't been for the repugnant crushing sound, she would never even have noticed anything else but Brita's fingernails at play.
It's hard to gather from snippets. Now I wonder about Brita. I thought that the man instigated the attack, but reading this, I'm not so sure.
ReplyDelete"...back when we were still on dry feet." Could be an original way to express it. This is more common: "still on dry land."
I have to run. I'll be back later to read the linked material. I've fallen so far behind on your blog! You have been busy :-)
Nice the way you tipped from one extreme to the other--"fawn eyes, constantly nodding her little head, so sweet, so fragile.
ReplyDeleteThen, out of nowhere, she lunged at him in a ferocious blur, and struck."
Brita is going to be fun to write. Unpredictable.
They were in "the other guy's kitchen"? Hmm...the plot thickens :-)
I'm impressed and intrigued. :-)
Hi Teresa, thank you for the reread, I'm relieved to hear that you still like the overall premise! Brita is fun, I imagine her being a young Winona Ryder type character with a little edge. This internal casting method you suggested, esp. for writing dialogue helped me immensely. You'll see some of the new dialogue next Sunday. P.S. I'll change the dry feet to dry land, it was a mistake, glad you pointed that out. :)
DeleteI love your uniqueness. The passion you have for writing comes out in every sentence you write. I can see her so clearly, so sweet and innocent one moment then transform into a clawed demon the next. I've dated girls like that. :) lol!
ReplyDeleteSo, I apologize that every comment I make is the gushing kind, but girl, I admire your writing so much, my hope is to one day have the fraction of the talent you possess. Please allow me to gush? ;)
Ok, I forgive you... if you'll forgive me and we can keep on showering us with words of admiration as long as we both mean it. :) I see no reason not to! I don't really believe in my skills as a writer..yet! Talent, maybe. The plan is to keep on doing this until I can say the words "I am a writer" at cocktail parties without it feeling like a bs job title. It's hard to believe other people may see things that I myself can't, because I am too close to what I'm doing. Seriously, I think you're an accomplished writer with talent and skill - even the mystique works in your favor - and way out of my league.
DeleteYou have a deal, let the gushing continue. ;)
DeleteI have faced the dreaded admittance to being an English major before ... "so what kind of job will you get with that degree?" I was asked. grr. I continue to imagine that once I have a book published, I too will feel less like a BS'er and more like an actual writer. ;)
I appreciate the kind words. Most of my writing is fairly dark, I didn't realize it was so much until I began the SSS. Your comment on my page was one of the best compliments I've ever been given. to know I've made someone sigh over my words, and a writer of your caliber even, that's amazingly powerful. Very inspirational.
'Repugnant crushing sound' - shudder. Brilliant set-up of character here, love it!
ReplyDeleteHi Karen! I obsessed all day yesterday over using the words "cracking", "snapping" or "crushing" for this sentence. Glad you agree with my choice. :)
Deleteohh this left me with a chill!
ReplyDeleteThank you Maryellen! :)
DeleteI have to agree with Karen -- "repugnant crushing sound" really jumped out at me in this one. Nicely done!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear it. Thanks for stopping by! :)
DeleteI think you're well on your way towards creating compelling characters and what seems like an interesting storyline developing. Keep up the good work. Oh yeah, and I agree with Karen, you're word selection was fantastic for this particular snippet.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jess, that's so nice of you to say. Looking forward to next Sunday! :)
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