The most pitiful thing about me is that I am a worrier. Not warrior. That would be cool.
No, I am worrying. Constantly, about everything. It's not always justified.
Tomorrow is trash day. OMG, did I take out the trash or will I have to sit on stinky leftovers for another week or two?
Did I make a mistake with the salary statement I submitted? Will they think I did it deliberately? Will they be mean to me in jail?
Why does my car make these strange noises? Should I really continue ignoring that flashing control light?
Did I tip the lady in the bakery enough?
(In case she hands out the poisoned bread to unfriendly no-tip customers!)
I could think of a million other trivial things.
Interestingly enough all those minor concerns dissolve into nothingness when there is one giant reason sitting on my chest. I can't eat nor sleep. My husband is sick. He has severe stomach cramps. He is vomiting nonstop. Even the water he drinks doesn't stay inside. There is nothing left in his system but he still can't stop. What if it's an ulcer?
Or something else with c?
I am not worried anymore. By now, it's full-blown panic.
My family is a family of worriers. I've had people tell me to try not to worry so much, but that's like saying I should cut down on breathing. I've found that the constant anxiety means I'm always prepared for the worst... I may fret and gnaw my nails down about whether the letters I just dropped in the mail slot were properly addressed, but then I'm calm and serene and purposeful when someone breaks a wrist. It's like I'm constantly swinging two bats in the on-deck circle, then when it's actually my turn to hit -- home run! Okay, bunt single usually, but... Like a famous daughter marrying filmmaker once mused, "An optimist is never pleasantly surprised." JP -- http://mistermirror.blogspot.com/
ReplyDeleteI've heard the "Don't worry so much" line very often.. mostly from people who don't seem to be the worrying kind.. so I'm not worried about that ;)
ReplyDeleteBut I immediately stop sharing my worries when I hear that, because, as you said, the obsessive thinking never stops, but I don't necessarily need to share those nagging thoughts.. except on my blog and in a hopefully more entertaining way.
Oh, it's so good of you to mention the mailbox, it's my old friend!
Properly addressed mail, yes, I checked that a thousand times before they went in, but wait a minute, did I REALLY drop them in correctly or did I by any chance miss the slot? I have to go re-check and walk around that damn box.. :)
I think it's a little OCD in the mix in my case.. but as you say, being prepared for the (worst) consequences is not entirely bad if something really happens..
it hardly ever does, but it almost always might..!!
Thanks for your comment and the nice little quote.. Gotta remember that :)