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9/07/2010

How not to write lyrics

Today I want to talk and complain about stupid song lyrics. One in particular. Until my later years I didn't even notice many of the idiotic lines we are fed on a daily basis by these so-called artists of the music industry. They appear to have the urge to communicate very important, basic human feelings and thoughts about..

Yeah! Oh Yeah! Oh life! Oh life!

This one's by Des'ree, I am sure everybody has heard the song.

And here it goes:

I'm afraid of the dark
Especially when I'm in a park
And there's no one else around,
Oh I get the shivers.

Dark and park are really classic lines, ingeniously put together by Mrs 'ree. So far I'm with her. Being in a park is scary, especially when it's dark.

Even more when we're alone.
Or in the arms of Al Capone.

Haha, just kidding, of course Des'ree didn't come up with that. I did. Just to be clear.

Ok, let's continue with Life:

I don't want to see a ghost,
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast

Hold it right there.
Take a second to think about these last lines and try to grasp their powerful message.
She thought of ghost and assembled it smoothly with most, which is ok, obvious but ok, but then she had the audacity to lash out to toast? Seriously, how desperate do you have to be?! Well, and it's non-sensical, even though it rhymes. You'd always rather have toast than see a ghost, getting stabbed, having a stroke, basically toast is better than everything that's bad, except when the toast itself is poisoned..
I think she is making fun of the audience... HOW DARE SHE!

And watch the evening news.

Admirable. But I don't believe her. Being afraid of ghosts and evening news: there's a mismatch!

Then comes the chorus Life oh life.. and so one

I'm a superstitious girl
I'm the worst in the world
Never walk under the ladders,
I keep a rabbit's tail.

So she claims to be so superstitious, the most superstitious person in the world, yet she doesn't know that it's not the tail, but the rabbit's feet which supposedly protect against bad luck.
REALLY? I am surprised nothing serious has happened to her so far.
Walking-under-the-ladders-accidents are quite common. Beats dying of all the other possible causes anytime.

Please, before you go get the chain saw, consider that cutting off your pet rabbit's feet will not only hurt your beloved pet, it also won't help against basic physics! So don't do it!

Holding a shovel doesn't help you while falling off a cliff to give you another example involving the laws of nature.

I'm really getting quite angry at Des'ree. Not only did she put absolutely no effort in her lyrics, she's also setting a bad example. I refuse to quote any more of those idiotic lines. Please all you readers, if you hear her song on the radio, cover your ears quickly! And don't let your children listen to such nonsense either. It's pretty bad advice about life, oh life.